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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a Mexican prison. They committed a crime and have been sentenced to death. The women are instructed to say when they are ready for the firing squad to shoot and kill them. The brunette is called up. She says, “Ready, aim, tornado!” Afraid of an approaching funnel cloud, the police quickly turn around and the brunette runs away.Once regrouped, the redhead is summoned. She says, “Ready, aim, earthquake!” Fooled again, the police quickly turn around to get cover while the redhead runs away. Then it’s the blonde’s turn, who says, “Ready, aim, fire!”I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy and then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s new Obama Value Meal?A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.Q: Why is England the wettest country?A: Because so many kings and queens have. But I still remember my lost dream as clear as spring water: I was sitting on the upper deck of the royal barch, decorated with all the attributes of a Pharaoh and surrounded by half a dozen of little black slave girls from Kush - delightfully naked, except for the golden collars around their slender necks! And, as usual when I can't go back to sleep I walk down to the river, sit on the cool stones of the jetty and marvel at the sparkling night sky for hours. A pale moon hangs above me like a slice of lemon and the belt of Orion twinkles at me from far. I count the glowing shooting stars and load every one of them instantly with a wish of my heart - and there are so many of them! A small boat floats by without a noise. The person at the rudder seems to be as little as a c***d, so I wave without fear and hesitancy. And as the boat glides closer I can see that it is guided by a young handsome boy in a very fine tunic. His features are elegant and his smile as bright as a sunrise..
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